The Art of the Mary Sue
by GoldieGodiva
Summary: Offensive yet true, criticizing through humor about common Mary Sues and whatnots in these short stories about them.
1. The Mary Sue of YYH

**---Story Analysis: _When life gives you lemons, make lemon pie. The anime, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, has millions of people creating numerous original characters. Yet, to be the bitchy critic that I am, many of those original characters are not really so original after all—Mary-sue and Marty-Stu is more the better term for most of them. Most reviewers and other people that can't stand a Mary-sue or Marty-Stu always down the fic or don't bother reading it at all when they read 'ORIGINAL CHARACTER' in the summary but find out that the 'original' character is indeed just a perfect copy-cat. I tend to nit-pick about EVERYTHING that I have read in numerous fics (mainly people create more Mary-Sues then Marty-Stu. Please don't take it to heart, wouldn't you rather create a character enjoyable for you and others that isn't such a doppleganger? A warning is at hand, I warn everyone that has an 'original' character to NOT read this or any of my Mary-Sue chronicles—even though you are going to anyway, ne? Most people might get a kick out of this, others will just flame me—flames don't bother me, go ahead, waste your comments, please, opinions are nice. . ._**

**The Art of the Mary-Sue presents: **Yuu Yuu Ha-Mary-Sue

****

"I sense an outrageous youki within the area." Kurama dropped his school bag as he glanced around the area. His bag landed onto the deserted sidewalk as his flaring red hair danced against the gale of wind that picked up.

"It is coming from Meiou High?!" his emerald eyes bulged as he dashed off in a panic, forgetting his school bag. The gust pierced through him harder as his shoes clicked off the pavement each step of the way.

It wasn't long until Kurama finally stood besides the steel gates of Meiou High. He was panting hard as he leaned against gate for support. His eyes had calmed but small beads of sweat were dotted over his face from still being exhausted from his rapid jog.

"It is you..?" Kurama gasped as he closed his eyes and stood his ground.

"Kurama-anata!" a shrilly voice shot through the boy's mind as fellow classmates stared dumbfounded at the scene from the side of the schoolyard.

A female no taller then Hiei smiled with an impish grin towards Kurama from the very top of the school roof. All in an instant, she had leaped from her position and was running down the side of the building in such a hasty sprint—she was faster then Hiei of course!

The supposedly youkai female jumped in mid-air when she came only a few inches from the ground. She performed a somersault in the air as she finally landed in front of Kurama.

"Oh, Youko-koi, I missed you." The thirteen-year-old girl's orange eyes sparkled. She was obviously a Fire demon from how SHORT she was and how her ebony hair was hacked upward LIKE Hiei's. A Katana—the real, ONLY weapon in the world of Yuu Yuu Hakusho—was on her left-side and strapped to a black belt that was wrapped just a little under her perfect breasts. She wore a black skirt that was held up by the belt and was very tight on her skin. The skirt extended only a little bit over her knees as two slits were on each side of her skirt and were cut all the way to where the belt was—showing so much of her thighs.

A garter belt was on her right thigh and a black stocking was on her left. Black, leather boots covered her feet and iron gauntlets covered her fingers. A dusty black, jean-jacket that wasn't buttoned up was the only thing concealing most of her cleavage. The sleeves of her jacket were tucked into her gauntlets.

"Lemon... You returned?" Kurama huffed when he saw that the short girl was latched onto his hips and embracing him in a tight hug.

Her eyes and her Jagan glared up at Kurama a little peeved, "Koibito! I am your Pie-chan!"

"Why have you come to nin-gen-kai?"

Pie laced her fingers around Kurama's own and held them close to her. "The evil Ade man will be resurrected at midnight. I'm going to need your help! I've also learned you have become friends with a Rei-Kai Tan-tei; surely you could get the Tan-tei to help our cause."

"Ade..." Kurama's expression grew intense as more of his fellow classmates stood around the twosome, listening to every word.

--

At Sarayashiki Junior High, after school

--

"Everyone, this is Lemon Pie, she is just a very skilled fire demon." Kurama introduced his old flame to the group.

"Lemon Pie? What kind of name is that?!" Kuwabara bellowed at the top of his lungs, "And how come you look so much like the half-pint over here." He now pointed a finger towards Hiei who had his back turned from the conversation.

"Bastard, you are so stupid, you should know that all Forbidden children from Koorime always look the same. Moron, shut up now, you'd seem more intelligent that way!" Pie growled.

Kuwabara didn't respond because he was afraid of what she had said to him.

"Lemon Pie? You are the sister of Lemon Ade the Ice youkai, correct." Botan gasped sitting atop her oar. "I was about to assign Yuusuke the task of finding Lemon Ade; orders from Master KoEnama. Ade was slaughtered by Youko Kurama four-hundred years ago but will be resurrected tonight because of unknown purposes."

"I've learned about that this morning because I have the power to read any mind of any realm—my ki is far more developed then that of most other Fire demons, so it is really easy to just tap into any mind, even the great King Enma!" Pie bragged.

"Hn. This is a waste of time. Hn. I don't know why I'm he-reeh?" Hiei finally turned towards the others and finally saw how the female fire youkai looked. 'I've never met her before, but why do I have this feeling? My heart, I can hear it beat. My cheeks, they are warm. I'm in love with this beautiful female.' Hiei thought.

"Hm? Sorry to break your heart, but my own attractions are only for Kurama-anata!" Pie read his mind. "See how everyone loves me." She said as she smiled at Kurama; he shook his head in agreement.

Hiei began to blush and held his head down after being rejected.

"Enough of this, why are you here anyway, we don't need your help anymore so there!" Yuusuke shouted, finally saying something.

"I've come to become the new leader of this team." Pie laughed.

"What?!" Yuusuke clenched his fist, "Temee! Kurama, you gon'na stand for this!"

Kurama looked off into the sky.

"Urameshi, don't do it, I'm feeling the tickle feeling!!!" Kuwabara warned.

"Hn. Hn. For once, the fool is right, her ki is stronger then yours... Hn." Hiei grumbled.

"Oh dear-ry-oh..." Botan gasped. "You'll just have to do what she says Yuusuke... I must return back to Rei-Kai for further orders, cheerio!" the ferrywoman shot off into the sky and disappeared.

"I'll fight you for it!" Yuusuke demanded, having no one else on his side.

"Okay!" In a split second, Pie had rammed at Yuusuke with her elbow. She had knocked him over on his rear-side and began punching him while he lay helpless. She then jumped in the air and performed an attack. "Spirit Surf!" a strong ki that resembled the spirit wave shot at Yuusuke. The Rei-Kai Tan-tei lost the short match.

"Now that that is done, let's continue to where my brother will be resurrected and stop him because I know exactly where it is." Pie smiled as she picked up Yuusuke off the ground. "You can be my lackey since my ki is stronger then yours of course! Let's go!"

--

At some dark fighting place thing

--

"He's already been resurrected. Quickly, we must take him out before he destroys the world!" Kurama glared as the entire group was hunched behind an assortment of different trees. The one known as Lemon Ade stood in a clearing (no further details need to be known about him because he isn't the main character, so there, I like putting my opinion in fics! Duh, hahah!!)

"Destroy the world? I thought he was resurrected for unknown purposes?" Kuwabara asked a little annoyed.

"Shut up ugly boy, what did I tell you about talking! Besides, this story isn't suppose to make so much sense, dumbass!" Pie gave Kuwabara a cold stare. The boy obeyed her words and didn't shoot back a remark.

"Now you guys stand back as I take care of him." Pie shouted as she jumped from her tree and hopped towards the ground in grace as she ran towards her brother. Everyone else stood their ground as they obeyed her.

Ade tried evading his sister's attacks, but she was too powerful for him. She gave him possibly the best karate moves of all time—chopping at his neck, kicking himself from under his knees, upper-cutting him under his jaw, and etceteras.

"Now to finish you off, after you betrayed me from our unknown past!" a dark aura began to form over Pie as she stood in a fighting stance. A dark serpent-like figure morphed from her ki began to wrap around her arm. "Dragon of the Darkness Flame!" she shouted the attack that could kill the user instantly if they weren't mastered under it with diligence; but it didn't matter since she was the strongest youkai known to demon-kind. The dragon engulfed her brother and killed him effortless.

"Wow, that was so easy, and that was the first time I ever used that attack!" Pie did a victory sign as she walked back over to the group.

'She's so skilled...' Hiei thought to himself.

"Thanks." Pie read his mind.

"Why the hell did you need our help?!" Kuwabara growled.

"She is so cool, dude!" Yuusuke cheered.

"Ahem, now that that's over." Pie kneeled on her knees and smiled at Kurama. "Will you marry me!" she held out a gigantic engagement ring with the diamond the form of a rose.

"Oh I will!" He giggled and jumped up and down. "First I'll turn into my Youko form so we can live forever in happiness." Kurama did what he said and became his bishounen self.

"I will also transform into my Youko form as well." Pie turned into Youko Pie—the most beautiful Kitsune youkai in all of Ma-Kai.

"My mother won't mind if I leave, I'll just erase her mind with one of my plants like I did to Maya Kitajima—someone who has nothing to do with the story at all." He laughed as he picked Youko Pie up and the both headed back off towards Ma-Kai.

As both were gone from nin-gen-kai forever, they're friends would always remember them and how such good fighters they were.

Kuwabara blinked as he glared at the others, "I thought she was just a Fire Demon..."

**Story Epilogue: **_Youko Kurama and Youko Pie lived the rest of their days in Ma-Kai with thirty children as beautiful as their mother and father. Yuusuke became the leader of his team again. . .but was then impeached by KoEnma so Botan would be the new leader with her mad batting skills. Speaking of the new leader, Botan has left Japan and headed back to cheery ol' England to visit her family. Hiei became wallowed up in his emotions and still is heartbroken by not having Pie. As for Kuwabara, he became emperor of Rei-Kai—after kicking KoEnma out of office and finding out that he was King Enma's long lost son. He solved the problem with the demons and humans and everyone lived in peace because of him being the only character in this damn story that actually knew the truth of it all!_


	2. More Than Just the Mary Sue

**---Story Analysis: _When life gives you lemons, make lemon streusel. The anime, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, has millions of people creating numerous original characters. Yet, to be the bitchy critic that I am, many of those original characters are not really so original after all—Mary-sue and Marty-Stu is more the better term for most of them. If you have not noticed by now, Mary-Sue has been claiming the net as her own—leaving poor Marty-Stu in the dust. So with out further to do, a fic dedicated to the Marty-Stu of Yuu Yuu Hakusho._**

**The Art of the Mary-Sue presents: **Yuu Yuu Marty-Stu

****

"I'd like you to meet Lemon Streusel. He will be the fifth fighter for the Urameshi sect because of the passing of Genkai." Botan said in a cheery voice.

A man in all black—black trench coat, black boots, black pants, and black hair—stood behind the spirit guide. His eyes resembled Kurama's green ones and so did his hair (but his is black remember, I like poodles) and his height as well.

"Mr. Lemon, I present you to—"

The mysterious new fighter cut Botan off, "Hiei, you TRAITOR for what I don't know because I have the facts wrong because it is you, Youko Kurama that is the traitor that a lot of people didn't know." He smiled. "Aw, Kazuma Kuwabara, you are useless, I'll be fighting in your place so you won't have to die against Toguro because I like giving away information you won't find out until it actually happens!"

"Excuse yourself, you don't know me, it is excruciatingly painstaking to not listen to your mindless dribble." Kuwabara said out of character as glasses appeared over his face since he is the only one who still knows how the original story is suppose to go.

"Shut up, no one wants to hear it." Lemon Streusel growled as Kuwabara did so, none of his so-called friends stuck up for him because they rather obey a complete stranger.

Botan still stood there with the same smile on her face as if nothing was happening.

"And then Yuusuke Urameshi..." Streusel turned towards the Rei-Kai Tan-Tei. "Otousan... I am your son from the future! I came in the name of truth and love and justice I'll punish evil! I'm a Pretty Soldier in my Sailor suit! I have come to save the past of Crystal Japan in the future. You are king of the Earth while Okaasan, Eternal Queen Keiko, lays dormant awaiting my accomplishment!"

Yuusuke didn't say anything; he just stood there with a amused look on his face. "Awesome!"

"I was shot by a hunter just like Kurama and I came here to escape, they call me a traitor now too. I was reborn in nin-gen-kai as Kurama's brother!" Streusel went on because he had the spotlight, literally.

Kurama nodded in agreement.

"Come on, it is time for the fight with Toguro because I have a score to settle with him, he ran from me when I was beating him but he won't run this time!" Streusel commanded as HIS team followed, leaving Botan still with the same smile on her face.

---

Final Round of Tournament

---

"You're in luck ladies and demon men! We have the great S class fighter, Lemon Streusel, fighting on the Urameshi team! There is no way they can lose!" Juri cheered.

"Yes you are right." A shaded figure appeared by Juri with a cloak over his body and face.

"Oh everyone! This is my co-announcer, Lemon Balm! Just think of him mysterious for now!" Juri jumped up and down.

"Yes that's right." The co-announcer waved to the crowd.

"It's time to start fighting, will both groups enter the ring to decide fighting orders." The fox girl at the side of the ring announced (I don't know her name so I'll call her fox girl because that's how she looks! Or was she a cat? Someone send me her name cuz I'm too lazy to look and rather leave it this way! blah blah blah!)

"Exactly, I was just getting to that, Koto (yay I remembered her name! DURH!)!" Juri said to her fellow announcer.

The Urameshi and Toguro team stepped up, each facing the opponent they would soon face—Hiei glared at Bui, Kurama glared at Karasu, Kuwabara glared at the oldest Toguro brother, Yuusuke glared at the youngest, and Botan smiled at everyone as she appeared on the battlefield. Lemon Streusel, however, sat by the wall of the battle ring and basked in his glory.

"It has been decided that both of the groups shall fight until the last one stands." Juri called and ducked over to the side of the ring, Lemon Balm floated over to her and both of them hid from sure destruction the teams would cause.

"Battle begin!" Juri called.

The Urameshi team took a terrible beating because they weren't no match for the Toguro brothers, they all tried their strongest attacks—Hiei's Ensatsu Kokuryuuha failed, Kuwabara's experimental sword failed, Kurama transforming to Youko failed, even Yuusuke's spirit wave failed! The Urameshi team was at the Toguro team's mercy. They all laid battered on the floor as the Toguro team stepped closer.

"Who will save them now! Their fellow teammate who is very appealing I might add is still resting. Wait folks, it looks like! Oh no, he inhales! Exhales! Inhales! OHMIGOSH! He itched his nose! Now he inhales and exhales again, a snort! Where will this lead to ladies and gents!" Koto screamed in enthusiasm as she gave the audience the play-by-play of Streusel's 'status'.

"Well it is time for me to take over." Streusel finally said as he stood (he's so kewl).

"Take your time." Botan smiled (yuck, she's prettier than me, blast).

Streusel jumped onto the battle arena and did his (poooodles!) own Spirit Gun that completely annihilated the whole Toguro Team. His was way stronger then Yuusuke's Spirit Wave.

"And the winner is the Streusel Team!" Juri cheered.

"Not yet!" Lemon Balm piped up as he stepped on the battle arena; "I am the Toguro team's fifth fighter!" he took off his cloak to reveal his scrawny body and huge, horn-rimmed glasses.

"OH NO! THEY'RE GONNA LOSE, YO!" Koenma said getting some time in this story!

"I don't think so! Moon Darkness Power!" Streusel yelled as his clothes disappeared to reveal his masculine and well-built physique. A black naval attire formed over him. "By your powers combined, I am Pretty Soldier in my Sailor suit, Sailor Captain Streusel Planet, smiting you with the powers of LOVE!"

"Go Planet!" The planeteers came out of no where and cheered.

"Who will win!" Juri shouted, "I'm not worthy of the presence of such an irresistible guy!" she screamed now on top of the tournament roof. She jumped off it and fell to her death.

Sailor Captain Streusel Planet did the greatest attacks of all but won't be mentioned because I don't want anyone stealing my FANTASTIC ideas! Lemon Balm was banished to the SHADOW REALM that resided in the HOME FOR INFINITE LOSERS!

"The Streusel Team wins!" Koto cheered along with the audience that for some reason admired the nin-gen supporting team now. "Like tournament rules, a wish is granted to the winning team! So boys, what will it be!"

spelling errors and bad grammar: tee ounce Uruamashiu Temee culdn' spricht veil zu tired ist! Streusel began spoking for dem.

"I wish to return to my home in the future, Crystal Japan! Because I broke my space travel device by using too much power in my fight just now." He took out his broken machine that sat in his pocket.

"Granted!" Koto screamed using her awesome microphone skills to grant Streusel's wishes.

He held up a peace sign as he disappeared from the scene.

"Thank you for coming see you at the next tournament, heh, that's all folks!" Koto waved goodbye as the audience cleared out.

As soon as everyone was gone in a flash, the Urameshi team finally got off the floor.

"What happened where did everyone go!" Yuusuke said dumbfounded. "Where's Keiko?"

"They got a lift back home by some demon." Botan said standing over them. "I must depart too, there's my ride." Botan waved to her floating oar that Koenma and Jorge were sitting on. She hoped on and the three of them disappeared back to Rei-Kai.

"Well let's go home." Hiei said.

Kuwabara fixed his glasses on his face and caught up with his group as soon as he said, "Spoiler, we meant to use that wish to bring Genkai back! Damn that Streusel!"

**Story Epilogue: **_Lemon Streusel enjoys his life back at his home in Crystal Japan with his parents and guardians future Koenma, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama—also known as the Sailor ReiKai Planeteer Scouts. Yuusuke's life went back to normal, still not knowing what had happened at the tournament. Keiko, Yukina, and Shizuru are now dating the demon that had given them a ride home. Kurama waited at home for his other brother, Streusel, to come home. Hiei was unable to show his face back in Makai so he began training in a mysterious place to one day become the greatest demon whose power would go to his head and he could one day take over the world. Botan, Koenma, and Jorge unfortunately crashed Botan's oar into another oncoming oar driver and were killed instantly. And finally, Kuwabara sat in his room, smoking his pipe and fixed his monogram on his right eye while he wrote stories like this one about the life of fake characters._


End file.
